Student Transportation Update
Further to the communication sent last week, the TDSB and Toronto    More>>
Follow the TDSB:
Search

John Karastamatis

When asked about myself – I usually do not know where to start. I came to Canada as a young child with my family. I was born in the fishing village of Gythion, in Greece. I credit my heritage for providing my "karastamatic" charm and incredible gook looks and my continuing love of squid, olives, and feta cheese.

Over the years I have had some wonderful accomplishments in both my personal and professional life. I am proud of my two children who look exactly like me.

I have mastered the art of becoming my own personal publicist and realize it is all about me. This has helped me to get where I am and to do what I do.

I began my professional career while still in high school at Vaughan Road Collegiate, as a busboy in a Yonge Street restaurant. My many fascinating experiences in this occupation will be detailed in the yet-unpublished first volume of my autobiography, titled "101 Things You Would Never Have Thought You Could Do With a Chicken".

I did not remain long in the restaurant business, however, for my charm, good looks, ego, and complete lack of moral scruple led me naturally, after a brief and forgettable period in university, into the profession of show business flack.

I began working as a freelance publicist for many small theatre companies in Toronto. I quickly established a reputation for myself as a master of the hyperbole, the half-truth and the manipulation of the ellipsis (as in quoting a critic who has said "This so-called play is a smashing bore" as "This....play is….smashing….!").

These talents soon brought me to the attention of Honest Ed Mirvish, who, as his name implies, was far too square to ever-utter falsehoods himself. I was, therefore, able to leave freelancing and take a high paying permanent job, with many tax-free perks, as Director of Communications for Mirvish Productions, where I remain today – and forever.

Working for the Mirvish family has been good for me in many ways. One that I might mention is that it has given many people the false impression that I am important, "know" things and "can be a useful person". This has helped me to develop an important second career as a newspaper columnist.

I have but two regrets in life. The first is that I have never learned to drive a car. These days, however, I make so much money that I can take cabs wherever I want to go. The second is that I let my lovely wife, Marie, have my credit card number.
Location of School

© Toronto District School Board. Terms & Conditions